Aust Winner 澳洲长风论坛

[戴玨]

I'm tired of my impatience with yesterday

What I like is today
Today I am a comb
wooden, red
capable of removing mess
　　　　to as far behind as possible
Please leave me alone
This is just a day
like so many other days
and I want to cross it with a smile


《我已厌倦了对昨日的不耐烦》

我看中的是今天
今天我是一把梳子
木质，红色
能把混乱带离多远就带离多远
请不要打扰我
这是一个跟很多日子
一样的日子
我欲微笑着横渡

I am awake like a drop of water

I don't want to fall asleep
because it is too cold
There are not many
ways of withstanding cold that I can think of

One way is to put more logs on the fire
Rubbing hands together is another
Batting eyelids hard, keeping them from closing
though not very clever, is also a method

No curious eyes will put this drop of water into wind
There won't be more onlookers to express their apathy
The lights that are out won't secretly leak
through a warm outlet

I am awake like a drop of water
and twinkle with luster of water
When can I fall asleep calmly like a drop of water
and live in accord with this winter which
　　　　　　　　　　　　definitely goes against my grain

《我象一滴水那样醒着》

不想睡去
是因为天气太冷了
我所能够想到的御寒方式
实在不多

加柴是一种
搓手是另一种
努力眨着一双眼睛，不让它们闭上
也算是一个不太高明的办法

没有好奇者将这滴水放在风里
不会有更多的人围观，并露出人类冷漠的表情
熄灭的灯光也不会私自泄露
一个温暖的出口

像一滴水那样醒着
闪着水一样的光泽
什么时候，能像一滴水那样安然睡去
并保证与这个冬天格格不入，又和谐相处

[非马]

戴玨好! 高兴读到这两首诗与翻译,特别是第二首.
两个小疑问:
1.头一首末行是否该在smile 前面加个"a"?
2. 第二首末节的 comfortably 是否改成 harmoniously 更吻合原诗?

[戴玨]

謝非馬先生指出錯誤！我作了點修改。

[非马]

戴玨不用客气,大家彼此切磋学习.
我也不主张在诗里用太多的副词(如comfortably 或 harmoniously). 在这里用in accord 不错. 但不知为什么我觉得 in accord 在这里读起来有点"硬",没有 in harmony 那么和谐妥贴.可能只是我个人的偏见.

[william zhou周道模]

学习两位的探讨，对我提高翻译水平有帮助。