Aust Winner 澳洲长风论坛

[張航]

斷掌慈母春暉映
　　　　　　　　　　誰言寸草心
　　　　 報得三春暉　　──孟 郊
張 航

　　天有不測風雲，人有旦夕禍福。冬英生到第三胎，終於替呂家延綿了炷香火，心想這下子準會替家斌帶來好運道。人算總是不如天算，就在此時，老天爺可不作美，落了場長時間的傾盆豪雨，釀成浩瀚洶湧洪水泛濫，，可把她丈夫在沙洲上種植即將收成的西瓜，全被沖走流失了，家斌禁不起如此沉重的打擊，便一蹶不振，再也不肯賣勞力，靠天吃飯了。連妻子好言相勸，也聽不入耳，他卻一意孤行，將家中全部財產變賣，獨跑到城裡去闖天下，扔下一家子大小生死不顧。
　　冬英日等夜盼，再也見不著家斌的蹤影音訊，她雖然終日以淚洗面，但總不能如此束手待斃呀，尤其三個子女正嗷嗷待哺，怎可不設法子把他們拉拔長大？偏偏娘家也是窮得如此無力伸出援手，否則也不會把她嫁給家斌這無情無義，沒有責任感的狠心人啦！
　　起初冬英為了照顧孩子，祇好接些家庭加工副業來做，但收入總是有限，要想維持家計，真是談何容易，於是她不得不把兩個女兒，暫時寄到娘家託養，這樣她才能揹著幼兒到磚瓦窯去做工。老闆見她如此勤儉克苦，遭遇挺教人堪憐，可激起他仁慈心懷，薪水按男工同等支付。冬英頗能知恩圖報，所以她在工作岡位上甚為賣力，工作效率也不低於男工，到了年節，老闆份外還給她加發獎金，於是他們生活隨之也就逐漸改善穩定下來了。
　　時間年復一年的過去，經友人打聽，她先生已當起什麼大經理了，公司還請了三位年輕貌美的會計小姐，而家斌就是被那妖精給迷纏住才棄家不顧的。可憐冬英帶著孩子從遠巴巴的鄉下，來到城裡跟他倆評理，想不到不但不能使丈夫回心轉意，反被他倆辱罵了頓，還理直氣壯的什麼抓賊抓贓，捉姦要捉雙，沒憑沒據怎可說小姐破壞他們家庭？小姐可哭死賴活地要冬英賠償她的名譽，家斌可陰陽怪氣擺出惜花憐玉窮兇惡極樣，出手便給冬英一勾老拳。
　　冬英見家斌負心不可理喻，祇好認命倒楣，攜兒回家重度她的悽苦困窘孤寂的生活。她已下定決心，要全心全力把孩子撫養長大，孩子就是她的希望，寄託，慰藉，如不是為了孩子，她哪能承受得了如此慘酷，沉重的打擊，折騰？說不定她連活下去的勇氣都蕩然無存了。
　　孩子們漸漸長大，也一個個送進了學校，需要花費當然也就日愈增高了。她為了能多賺些錢，來改善生活，便要多付出些勞力，於是她日以繼夜的辛勞，忙
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完工廠，又要忙家務，精神也就有些恍惚，一不留意，她的右掌已被機器輾成了肉醬，人已昏迷不醒倒臥在血泊中，幸有同事即時營救送醫，總算挽救了她的一條性命。
　　當她甦醒過來，見右掌全輾斷了，她傷心嚎啕大哭：「為何上蒼對我如此慘酷？」我一無所有，正需要我的雙手來養活這個家，偏偏又廢了我一隻，再則工廠尚未替我投保，怎有餘力來支付這筆龐大的醫藥費？這要我們怎能活下去？老天爺，你是該給我這貧苦的家留條活路，你聽到否？老天爺……」
　　總算天無絕人之路，工廠老闆挺悲天憫人願替冬英支付全部醫藥費，療傷期間還按月給她薪水，出院後還替她裝義肢，這樣老闆委實是夠仁厚慈悲的了。
　　冬英病癒，便趕忙到磚瓦窯上工，目的也就是想替孩子多積蓄些教育基金，好讓孩子們多讀些書，免得跟娘樣吃苦受罪，遭夫遺棄，於是她祇好忍受別人不能忍受的痛苦、折磨和悶氣，很快便適應了原先的工作。
　　長女雪梅，好不容易已熬到高中畢了業，她卻辜負母親期望放棄學業，說是要替母親分憂，減輕負擔。這下可惹得冬英好不開心：「娘忙死忙活，為的是那樁？還不是希望你們多讀些書，將後好出人頭地。我不希望兒女分攤家庭破碎的負荷，因為你們是無辜的，我祇希望你們過正常家庭的生活，把書讀好，唸好。」
　　雪梅何嘗不想繼續升學，但見娘如此勞累、艱辛，怎有心情讀下去。由於冬英堅持，復經村長分析，雪梅同意報考大學，順利考進師大，小兒志高也進入了師專，翌年次女秋霞也追隨大姐讀師大。
　　自從孩子們一個個進了師範學校就讀，冬英總算鬆了口氣，臉上也綻開了笑靨，孩子們私下商議，推舉大姐去央求母親：「媽，現在我們都進了師範就讀，吃住學雜費均不用愁，寒暑假我們還可以去工讀，賺些錢來養您老人家，媽甭再到工廠去工作，還是在家休息，休息吧。」
　　「哪怎行？錢還怕多？將來我還要替你們姊妹籌備嫁粧吶！免得像我娘家那般窮，害我嫁不到好郎君，連累子女也跟著受苦，還有你小弟，將後總該討門好媳婦吧！如像我們如此窮酸，誰家閨女願進我們家門？再說，人閒著準會出毛病的，你們說是不是？」
　　孩子們終於說不過母親，她老人家顧慮也是太多了，祇好任憑她去上工吧！她千辛萬苦，省吃儉用，好不容易攢了筆錢，便買了棟二樓三的樓房，不出幾年，連後院菜圃，也以貸款方式把它買了下來自己耕作。
　　她總算把孩子一個個拉拔長大，並完成了高等教育，兩位女兒已先後找到了好婆家，兒子也娶了房賢慧的媳婦，冬英眼見她一手支撐起來的家，已是欣欣向榮，蒸蒸日上。她捫心自問，對於社會、家庭，及呂氏的列祖列宗，均感無愧。
　　冬英白皚皚的髮絲，皺摺的臉龐，已佈滿艱辛歲月的痕跡。她年邁賦閒，更感到孤寂無聊難捱，可又使她想起負心的夫君─家斌，這些年來，他的信息杳無，不知是否別來無恙，冬英還是日以繼夜，一廂情願癡癡地倚門盼君歸來。她頗想以她慈愛的春暉，去溫煦家斌浪子漂泊結霜的心境，她更期盼他能回到兒女妻室
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身旁，來共享天倫之樂。她無奈昂首合掌祈禱，當左手觸覺到冷冰的義掌時，她感慨萬千，霎時晶瑩的淚珠，可滴落下她無限的辛酸。

　　　　一九八七年四月十五日脫稿於高雄師大教授宿舍


Loving mother's sunshine in spring of broken palm reflects
Heart of young grass of someone's speech
The newspaper has the sunshine of three springs
- -Suburb Meng
Zhang Hang

Sth. unexpected may happen any time, people have trouble good fortune imminence. Great Britain gives birth to the third child in winter, the wick burning incense of silk floss that at last to prolong for the Lu s, think by now
The son will definitely bring the good luck one refinedly for the family. People calculate and is always not so good as it to calculate, just at this moment, God does not help, have fallen in the field for a long time
Cloudburst torrential rain,it it leads to to be the vasts to be turbulent flood overflow, is it wash all the water-melon of the harvest to plant at the shoal her husband
Walk loss, house refined unable to stand heavy blow so, collapse after a single setback, again unwilling to sell to the labour, live on heaven. Even the wife
The son advises with kind words, it is pleasant to listen to either, but he acts wilfully, sells off all property in the family, go to town to carve a niche for oneself alone, throw away
Make whole family's all kinds of life and death to ignore.
The Britain and Japan wait for night to look forward to in winter, can not see the refined trace message of home again, though she washes one's face with the tears all day, but can't always be in a helpless situation
Wait to kill, three children especially cry piteously for food, how try son is it grow up to draw them? Just her parent's home is so poor too
It is unable to stretch out the assistance, can marry her house refined this merciless to have justice, have cruel people of sense of duty too!
Originally Great Britain have to connect some families and process sideline production to do in order to look after children in winter, but the income is always limited, if you want to maintain the family livehood
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,It is really that it's not at all that easy, then she has to send two daughters to her parent's home and hold and raise temporarily, in this way she could give the infant a piggyback to the brick
Tile kiln goes to work. So hardworking and thrifty gram is bitter that the boss sees her, the experience teaches people how to may and sympathize with very much, can evoke him to harbour kindly, the salary presses male workers samely
Wait for and pay. In winter Great Britain can quite know kindness seeks ways to return sb.'s kindness, so she is on the ridge location of the job very hard, working efficiency is not lower than male workers either, has arrived
The Spring Festival holidays, Mr. adds and takes place the bonus to her even outside one, then they are improving and stabilizing gradually thereupon in life.
The past year in and year out such as time, ask about by friend, she Mr. work as what great manager does it blow already, the company has also invited three to be young
Accounting Miss with beautiful looks, and the family is refined and is snarled and just abandoned what the family ignores for the fan by that evil spirit. Have pity on winter Great Britain and bring the child it from the far Palestinian bar
Countryside,come town with they decide which side is right, unexpectedly not only can't make husbands come around to the correct way of thinking, has been abused one by them instead, still pay attention to
Some strong of straight air caught thieves and caught the stolen goods, is it is it catch pair to want, have no proof and evidence how can say Miss destroy their family to catch adulterers in the act? The young lady can cry and extremely hang on alive
Yes, last reputation of her on the winter, house can queer to is it cherish flower sympathize with jade poor fiendish kind extremely, is it give Great Britain to collude the old fist in winter to sell to show
.
In winter Great Britain sees home is refined and faithless and impervious to reason, have to is it pour lintel to accept one's fate, come back home the in weight degree of her miserable and bleak lonely life in a difficult position with child. She
Have already reached a decision, will raise the child and grow up with all strength whole-heartedly, the child is her hope, find sustenance, consolation is not for the child
Son, how can she bear standing being so miserable and cool, heavy blow, toss about? She even courage to live on has all gone maybe
.
The children have grown up gradually, one too send school to, is it is it increase day too certainly to spend to need. She, in order to make more
Some money, come to make the life better, should pay some more labour, then her
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hard work night and day, finishes the factory, and also is busy with house work,
Spirit too a bit in a trance, careless, right palm of her pass through many hands or places machine into the meat paste already, people have already remained unconscious and lain down in the pool of blood
,Good fortune has colleagues to succour medicine of giving immediately, has saved a life of hers at long last.
As she revives, see the right palm pass through many hands or places and break completely, she is sad to cry loudly and wail: ' why Heavens is it the the miserable so cool about me? ' I one
There is not all, is needing my both hands to support this home, having just abolished my one again, moreover the factory has not insured for me yet, how have
Does Yu Li come to pay this sum of huge medical fee? How does this want us to live on? God, you should give me this poor family message
Means of subsistence, do you hear and deny? God '
Silver lining at long last, the factory boss feels both grieved and indignant at the depravity of human society and the suffering of the teeming masses and wishes Great Britain pay all medical fee for winter, still give monthly while treating wounded very much
Her salary, still put the artificial limb for her after leaving hospital, in this way the boss is very gracious and mercy really.
Great Britain recovers in winter, hurry to the brick and tile kiln to go to working, the purpose is to want to save some more education fund for the child, let the children
Read some more book, is it is it endure hardships to bear hardships with mother kind to so as to not make, abandon by the, it has to stand then she agony, the torment others can stand and
The sulk, adapt to the original work soon.
Eldest daughter's snow plum, has already endured to and graduated from the high school with great difficulty, but she lets down mother and expects to give up the study, say that will assign mother
Anxiety, lighten the burden. Whether can make winter well unhappy Great Britain by now. ' the mother is extremely busy with busily alive, that one? Do not still hope for you more
Read some books, will be very outstanding. I do not hope children share family's broken load, because you are innocent, I only wish
Hope you pass the life of the normal family, read the book well, read well. '
The snow plum really wants to continue entering a higher school, see mother's such fatigue, hardships, how to have mood to read. Because Great Britain insists on in
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winter, reply
Analyse by village head snow plum agrees and enters for the university, test enter Normal University smoothly, will high to enter teachers training school, next year second daughter autumn even rosy clouds too child have
Follow the elder sister and study in Normal University.
Since children every one has entered the normal school to study in, Great Britain let out a sigh of relief at long last in winter, burst forth and smile at Ye too on the face, the children
Discuss in private, elect the elder sister to beg mother: ' the Nanny, all of us enter the teacher-training to study in now, needn't worry to eat and live in the tuition and incidental expenses,
It is probational that we can also go in winter and summer vacation, make some money to raise yourself, mother don't go to the factory to work again, have a rest at home, stop
Stop. '
' where how walk? Is the money still afraid more? I will prepare dowries for your sisters in the future! So as to not make as that of our her parent's home it poor, hurt me
Marry fine man, involve children follow to suffer hardships, there is your little younger brother, should always put down the good wife of the door! Such as looking like us so
Poor and pedantic, whose girl wish to stock our door? Besides, people will go out of order idly accurately, do you say? '
The children can't outargue mother at last, she herself's worry is too much too, have to let her go to work! Her innumerable trials and tribulations
,Live frugally, have saved up the pen money with great difficulty, bought the building of three of a second floor, within several years, even the vegetable garden of the backyard, with the loan too
The fund way has bought one's own cultivation of it.
She draws the one child one and grows up at long last, has finished higher education, two daughters had already successively found the good husband's family, the child
Wife that it is virtuous that the something small and hard has been married the room, see the family that she supported all alone with eye of Great Britain of winter, it has already been prosperous, becoming more prosperous every day. She lays one's hand on the heart
Ask oneself, to the society, family, and Lu's our ancestors, feel and have nothing to be ashamed of.
White and clean hair of Great Britain of winter, wrinkle the face rolled over, has
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already been covered with the mark of hard years. Being old and unemployed, she still more feels too more lonely to have
It is difficult to delay to have a chat, can make her remember faithless monarches again - The family is refined, in these years, his information is too too far away to be readily accessible to have, I wonder whether it is in good health since the last meeting or not,
Great Britain is still night and day in winter, the fond dream rests on on the door and wishes you to come back sillily and sillily. She is it with spring sunshine, she of love, go warm warm house refined wave to think quite
The son drifts and forms the mental state of the frost, she expects him to get back to the bodies of wives of children even more, to share the family happiness. She cannot help but straightens one's back to slap and pray for jointly
Pray, while reaching the icy justice palm in the sense of touch of left hand, she sighs with all sorts of feeling, the sparkling and crystal-clear teardrop in a twinkling, the limitless one is sad that can drip and drop her.
. It is small
Completed in the dormitory to Professor of Normal University of Kaohsjung on April 15, 1987


張 航大師為星雲大師歌詞譜曲‧張 航首位接受感謝狀表揚
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風 風 雨 雨
張 航
　　　　一
　　大雪紛飛的臘月，大夥兒圍著火爐談天說地，來打發這酷寒的冬季，那管是天仙神話、妖魔鬼怪，真是無所不談，無事不提，說到山窮水盡的境界，便拿眼面前的事兒來湊填空擋。
　　「陳龍翔在我們縣城裏，算是得天獨厚，最有福氣的人兒。」
　　「哪可不是？」
　　「如果他像我們一樣的鍋灰臉，包準我們莊子裏的惠蓮姑娘，不會看上他，她家老爺也就不會在陳龍翔身上，花掉偌大一筆錢財，把他盤出來，如今還讓他當了這麼大的官。」
　　「說的也是，記得當年陳龍翔他家窮得吃了早飯，愁晚餐，哪還有剩餘的錢讓他去上洋學堂囉？」
　　「他不喝這麼多墨水，今兒還能當上縣太爺？包準他跟我們一樣荷鋤、撿牛糞啦！」
　　「去你的，看他弱不禁風的樣兒，還荷得起鋤頭？說不定他早已餓成瘦皮猴，打鼓可甭備鼓錘了。」
　　「哈哈哈……」逗得大夥兒捧腹大笑。
　　「說真格的，惠蓮跟他結婚這多年，怎麼連蛋都沒下一個？」
　　「這呀！是報應！像他當了縣長，高高在上作威作福的德性，成日花天酒地的連自己姓什麼都把忘了，當然便染上了滿身楊梅大瘡，怎還能播得出種子呢？」
　　「真是報應。」
　　「這可就愁煞了惠蓮姑娘了，今天往廟裏求神，明兒到庵中卜卦，真是急得如熱鍋上的螞蟻，盼望能替他生下一丁半子，偏偏送子娘娘就是這般吝嗇，好似存心要跟她過不去，弄得她沒有顏面來對丈夫，更談不上能幫助他出什麼好主意，來規勸丈夫不要這，不要那的來行善積德了。」
　　「記得去年縣太爺，時常藉到省城接洽公事為由而去荒唐，這次公然帶了位打扮得妖精似的婊子回來了，說是什麼要跟他來做小的。」
　　「惠蓮姑娘有沒有反對？」
　　「哪會有不反對的呢？」
　　「但反對又有啥用，祇怪自己肚子不爭氣，否則還能讓她闖進門嗎？」
　　「看她肚子鼓鼓的，準是已有貨色了。」
　　「那可是假不了。」
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　　「怎會這麼快？又不是吹汽球。」
　　「還不是縣太爺，早就跟她姘上了。」
　　「可憐的惠蓮姑娘，篤定要跟他們家做一輩子的老媽子了。」
　　「惠蓮後半輩子，的確是夠她難捱的了。」
　　「唉！好好的一個家，讓這下賤的女人，弄得烏煙瘴氣。」
　　「族長，你是應該去替惠蓮姑娘，爭回這個公道。」
　　「對呀！是該把那妖精攆出去，免得把我們這兒風氣帶壞啦！」
　　「這檔子事是縣太爺家務事啊！」族長理了下鬍鬚：「常言道清官難斷家務事。」
　　「唉！惠蓮姑娘可要苦捱一輩子了。」鄉親們紛紛傾吐出了憐憫的嘆聲。

　　　　二
　　妖精錢露露的腹部一天天的隆起，她那逼人的氣焰也隨之高漲；縣太爺笑瞇瞇的臉上也加深了不少皺紋。黃惠蓮在陳家日漸被他們奚落，她的心情更日愈沉悶，雙眉緊蹙，把一切都歸咎自己的命運就是這般孤苦的。
　　惠蓮噙著熱淚渡日如年；露露卻呼風喚雨的氣勢凌人，看她又在找惠蓮的岔兒：
　　「惠蓮姐，看你端這麼冷的水來給我洗臉，難道要把我凍死不成？」
　　「怎會？」惠蓮向露露睖瞪了一眼：「明明這是溫水，才不致把妳冰壞呀！」
　　「唔！明明你想把我凍死？凍死我你會有什麼好處？頂多留根褲腰帶給你上吊吧了。」
　　陳龍翔打堂屋進到臥房：「怎麼啦！你們倆又在拌嘴？」
　　「喔呀！」露露拉高了嗓門，矇面哭嚷著：「我是你陳家的眼中釘、肉中刺，我不要活啦！好！你們把我看不順眼，我馬上死給你們看。」
　　「露露，別這樣糟塌自己。」龍翔摟抱住露露勸述：「動了胎氣，可不是鬧著玩的。」
　　「鬧著玩的？我可沒哪份閒情逸緻，跟你胡扯囉？人家腰酸得快把我折騰死啦！」露露兩串淚珠，像脫了線似的往外滾落。
　　這時陳龍翔情急，也不分青紅皂白，便指責惠蓮：「你又不是不知道露露已有了身孕，你做大姐的一切都該牽就些。」
　　惠蓮滿肚子的委屈，忍著淚水，不敢吭聲。
　　露露得寸進尺，像黃婆罵街的滔滔不絕：「她從沒跟你生過一兒半女，怎會知道產婦的辛酸苦辣啊！我看她是在妒嫉懷恨我，有意跟我過不去，想把我的胎兒折磨掉，她才會心甘。喔！孩子還沒生下，她便這般待我，生下後叫我怎能活下去啊？喔……」露露雙拳直往自己腹部捶擊。
　　龍翔忙把露露雙手抓牢：「妳這是何苦呢？有何委屈，妳可儘管講，我會給妳一個圓滿的答覆。」
－ 021 －
　　「還有什麼好談的，今兒不是她死，就是我亡，要不然，我便跟孩子同歸於盡。」
　　「甭這樣把話說絕啦！現在一切我都依妳，妳講呀！」
　　惠蓮氣得咬牙切齒，臉色發青，直打哆嗦。
　　「你看，她要吃人的樣兒！」露露使性，後仰腦袋直往牆上撞：「哎呀！我可不要活啦！」
　　急得龍翔雙手把露露托抱在懷裏。
　　惠蓮見狀，卻一股勁兒的往後花園奔跑，毫不猶豫的跳進到蓮花池自盡了。
　　龍翔預感到，人命關天的案子，將要落到他的頭上了，於是他心地一橫，把露露撂擺在床上，便尾追在惠蓮後頭，奮不顧身的躍進蓮花池，把惠蓮救了上來。
　　惠蓮已喝了不少污泥水，人已溺得奄奄一息送進了醫院。龍翔這時，也不得不提出，讓惠蓮、露露分開居住，俾便暫時解除大小二房，水火不相融的爭吵場面。

　　　　三
　　陳家總算安靜了好一陣子，露露也挺爭氣的替他生下了一個白白胖胖的兒子，賀客們擠的水泄不通，門前鞭爆不停的燃放，炮渣兒已是堆積如山了。縣太爺可樂得笑裂了嘴、瞇緊了眼，魚尾紋也牢牢貼在眼角邊。這時露露更是神氣活現，不是張媽替她搥背，便是李嫂跟她捏腰，一會兒人參蓮子湯，一忽兒山珍海味的送上口，她可成了陳家最偉大的大功臣了。
　　如今祇要她開口，說要啥，老爺子準會百依百順的，露露見勢雙手抱緊縣太爺的身子撒嬌道：
　　「龍翔，我替你生了兒子，該不該好好謝我？」
　　「應該，應該重謝。」龍翔打心眼樂到外頭。
　　「就憑你這一句話算謝啦！」露露炯炯敏銳的眼神凝睇著丈夫。
　　「一定要重謝，重謝。」
　　「怎麼個謝法？」
　　「妳說說看祇要我辦得到，包準合妳的心意。」
　　「是你親口說的囉！諸位長輩、鄉親，今兒可要請您們做得見證人啦！」
　　「當然，當然，露露，你儘管講吧！」陳龍翔在大夥面前拍胸承諾他所說的話絕不會黃牛。
　　「我開出來條件，可別伸舌頭了。」
　　「縣太爺說怎樣？包準不會打折扣的，我可替你擔保。」年邁耄耋的族長講話漏風，拍著胸脯保證。
　　「為了孩子今後教育著想，希望你撥給健民名下一百畝水田，和我們住的這棟房子，還要留給他十根條子。」
　　「哈哈哈！我還以為是什麼大不了的條件，健民是我的兒子，我的全部財產
－ 022 －
都是他的，就是再多些，我也會答應啦！」陳龍翔滿開懷地朗笑。
　　「請你現在開張字據，把產權轉給孩子，也好讓諸位鄉親大爺們在紙上簽個名來作見證啦！」露露端出文房四寶。
　　「好！一切遵命！露露真有你的一套。」陳龍翔毫不考慮的把字據寫妥道：「請諸位鄉親在紙上留個大名吧！免得露露不放心。」
　　大夥兒挺過癮的，在紙上簽好名字，紛紛稱讚：「縣太爺真了不起，您真是有福氣啦！」
　　「縣太爺真闊氣，有這麼多的財產。」
　　露露可樂了：「從今兒起，這些房地產就是我心肝寶貝兒子的了。」
　　「當然，當然，你兒子也不就是我的兒子？哈哈……」龍翔可樂成了一尊彌勒佛。
　　「這些財產，誰也不能動他一個子兒，寶寶不會理財前，暫且由他舅舅託管。」露露頗精靈把話說在前頭。
　　「由文彬來保管？」陳龍翔頓感驚訝。
　　「怎麼？不信任啦！」露露杏眼圓瞪。
　　「哪會不信任？」龍翔在大庭廣眾面前，祇好扮演硬漢。
　　「諸位父老鄉親可聽清楚了呵！」露露深怕龍翔會反悔。
　　「君子一言既出，駟馬難追，怎會把真格的事當兒戲？」族長梳理了幾下鬍鬚。
　　「族長都這般信任，我還有什麼話說？小女子祇有代寶寶千謝萬謝龍翔夫君和諸位父老鄉親了。」露露一張嘴巴可把話兒扣得牢牢，給縣太爺不留滴點反悔機會。

　　　　四
　　露露替縣太爺生下一個寶貝兒子後，可撈到了一筆偌大的財產；反觀跟他從苦難中剛熬出頭的結髮妻子─惠蓮卻被遺棄送回了娘家。惠蓮一副菩薩心腸，從不嫉妒埋怨別人，祇怪自己生來命苦，誠心虔意在家吃齋唸佛修來生。當她得知露露已替龍翔接上了煙火，她可高興得落淚，忙唸「南無阿彌陀佛，大慈大悲觀世音菩薩……」來保佑他們一家子興旺安康。
　　自從露露生下寶寶後，龍翔並沒有被喜訊沖昏了頭忘掉舊情，於是一有空檔，他總是親自下鄉向老伴惠蓮暢敘幽情。惠蓮見丈夫還是如此關懷體恤，沒有絲毫隔閡，她已是心滿意足合掌感謝菩薩保佑能重溫天倫，霎時，她激動得淚水涓涓落下說出了心中的鬱悶：
　　「龍翔：我嫁給你快半輩子了，沒跟你生下一男半女，真是太愧對你們陳家祖宗。」
　　「惠蓮，我虧待妳的地方委實也太多了，但願妳能諒解我的苦衷。」
　　「這一切祇怪我命苦，肚子不爭氣，否則你也不會討露露進門。」
－ 023 －
　　「說的也是，要不是那樣，我也不會虧欠你滿身的感情債呀！打從娶進露露，我良心一直受到譴責而無法安寧靜下來。」
　　「唉！這祇怪命啊！」
　　經過這麼一番傾吐細訴，倆人心頭彷彿卸下了一具重擔，老倆口子可獲得了不少慰藉，隨即又墜入回到了初戀時的情夢中了，於是他倆感情快速昇華到了沸點。
　　他跟惠蓮接近愈久，更加發現她的優點越多，可說是完美無缺，她與露露簡直形成強烈對比，她從未曾要求過什麼，她僅管盡自己的婦道來體貼丈夫、幫助先生，促成他的事業和願望，那管是犧牲自己，祇要對丈夫有益無損，他都會傾全力去維護。
　　龍翔深深體認，他是少不了惠蓮。那管露露爭風吃醋、無理取鬧，逼他疏遠惠蓮，甚至要他倆脫離夫婦關係，但龍翔在這方面總算拿定了主張，絕不依順她的潑婦勁兒。每當他來看惠蓮一趟，回去總要跟露露慪上幾天悶氣。而惠蓮頗識大體，顧大局地勸慰著：
　　「我看你在城裏忙，就少下鄉啦！甭耽心我，這一切我會自個兒照顧好好的，放你一百二十個心。」
　　「哪怎可以？把你扔在鄉下，委實令我過意不下。」
　　「這祇怪我命苦！」惠蓮偷偷拭乾眼角滾落的淚水：「露露年紀輕，正需要你多照顧，甭再惹她生氣了。」
　　「唉！這輩子我委實沒法子還清虧欠妳的這份隆情厚誼。」龍翔感動得五體投地，霎時淚水像決提黃河泛濫。
　　惠蓮掏出手帕替他拭淚：「看你還是孩子那般討人憐憫。」
　　「記得求學時期，你鼓勵我上進，沒有妳的鼓勵，我哪會有今天的成就？」
　　「還提這些幹啥？」惠蓮緊握他的雙手：「快回城吧！那兒還有好些公事等你去辦啦！」
　　歸途中，龍翔孤零落魄得好似喪家犬，一切失去了重心，對任何事物均感乏味，回到城裡歇不了幾天，便急忙趕回鄉下來跟惠蓮團聚，見到惠蓮，他便擁有無限的慰藉而覓回了自己，尋到了天倫之樂趣。
　　惠蓮還是本著以往一樣，吃齋唸佛、修身養神，從沒埋怨過誰，一切依順命運的安排，對待丈夫更是無微不至，舉凡他身上芝麻釘點大的事兒，包準會服侍得他稱心滿意，這般一來更使龍翔感到惠蓮的可親、可敬而不可少，兩人情感也隨之愈為融洽彌篤了。
　　老天不負苦心人，惠蓮終於也有喜了。臨盆的那晚，村子裡的道友樂得竟抬出娘娘菩薩來降神祭拜。門前廣場上也搭了座偌大的臺子，在上演地方文明戲來為惠蓮催生、慶賀。
　　就有人從旁問起龍翔：「你希望夫人生個壯丁還是千金？」
　　「聽天由命。」龍翔笑呵呵的回答。
－ 024 －
　　說著說著，接生婆在房裡傳出了喜訊：「恭喜縣太爺，您已得了一位千金。」
　　「縣太爺真有福氣啦！今兒有兒有女、有錢又有地位呀！」趙大娘攏邊恭維。
　　霎時鞭炮響澈了庭院，賀客們接踵前來道喜，龍翔可樂得合不攏嘴。
　　惠蓮也興奮得眼淚直往下淌，這場暴風雨般的淚水，可把他日積月累的憂鬱、煩悶，都沖洗得一乾二淨了；在她陰霾的思維中，已撥開了一個碧藍綺麗燦爛的晴空，從此她將可挺胸抬頭面對家人了。

　　　　五
　　好景不長，由於烽火的蔓延，可沖淡了陳家這樁喜事。縣城已告吃緊，龍翔不得不收拾貴重財物攜家帶眷往大後方逃亡，沿途難民雖然如螞蟻搬家，但歹徒卻敢在光天化日下大膽行劫，當然龍翔全家子也不例外，遭到洗劫。幸好惠蓮機智，在她女兒健蘭的尿布裡縫藏了不少手飾，否則離鄉別井，來到這人地生疏的重慶，真也要受凍挨餓了。
　　經過長途跋涉，龍翔卻勞累病倒在床上，惠蓮怎忍丈夫終日臥床不起，於是她便掏出私房錢，把先生送進了醫院。露露當然也不能撒手不管，兩人便自動輪流來照顧龍翔。患難中，她們倆由仇視而轉為友善，由疏遠而進到親近，由排斥而變成互助，她們深深體會到，誰也少不了誰，真也成了一對所謂患難之交的難姊難妹了。
　　「蓮姐：小蘭需要營養奶水，我看你還是多吃些發奶的食物；龍翔這由我來照應，你還是回家多休息吧！」露露和盤托出了內心話。
　　「不！你一個人怎忙得過來？還是由我們倆來輪流服侍龍翔。」
　　「蓮姐。」露露取下項鍊：「你快去把它當了，也好買些食物來補補身子。」
　　「露妹，我還撐得過去，祇要龍翔病況好轉，就是再苦些，我必能挨過，這些金子還是留給他治病用吧！」
　　「他治病的錢，我可另想法子。」
　　「錢都給土匪搶完了，你還能想啥法子？」
　　「蓮姐，不瞞你說，我在寶寶棉襖裡藏了幾根條子，沒被搜到。」
　　「真太謝天謝地啦！皇天終於不負我們苦命人。」
　　自露露拿出這些條子，才有財力替丈夫治病，龍翔的病況已漸有氣色，全家子，都以他的病情好壞，忽喜忽憂。
　　惠蓮篤信佛教，人在無能為力、無奈時，祇好祈求觀音大士，甚至在菩薩面前許願：「祇要菩薩保佑龍翔脫離病魔，我願折壽，甚至以我的這生來換取他的健康，祈禱大慈大悲救苦救難的觀世音菩薩成全我的心願……阿彌陀佛……。」
　　露露曾跟大夫提及：「為何他的病情時好時壞，到底是患了什麼病。」
　　「傷寒轉痢疾。」醫生默了下神：「由於沒有及時治療，把病壓下去，而拖垮了底子，現在已是肝火上昇了。」
　　「離家時，他便得病了，逃難途中，哪能靜下來好好替他治病？」
－ 025 －
　　「說的也是，傷寒是最損身子的，如沒及時治療，好好調養，病況祇會惡化……。」
　　「大夫，這種病打緊不？」惠蓮急忙追問。
　　「目前倒不怎礙事。」
　　「要怎樣調養？」露露也急了
　　「注意營養，多吃清火的，不要再受寒，而感染到其他病，總之這種病是富貴病。」
　　自大夫交待這番話後，惠蓮、露露分頭忙烹這煮那的給丈夫吃，目的是希望龍翔病體能早日康復。由於他的病，幾乎已把他們帶出來的全部積蓄花光了，但病情還是沒有多大氣色，由於經濟拮據，營養未及時補充，所以他的病日愈惡化，臉色一天天蕉黃，身體也漸漸消瘦，腹部也有積水了，大夫措手無策，搖頭宣佈他的病入膏肓……沒多久龍翔也就壽終正寢了。

　　　　六
　　好不容易，兩個弱女子總算把丈夫的後事處理妥貼。
　　剩下一家四口，在經濟極度拮據，正值渡日如年的當兒，惠蓮、露露倆更要攜手合作，兩人均懂得怎樣體恤關懷對方了。
　　「露妹：我們家的手飾已典當得剩下無幾了。我想到外頭去找份工作來貼補、貼補家用，免得這樣坐吃山空呀！」惠蓮委實不願讓這個家散掉。
　　「哪怎可以？你年歲這麼大了，身體也不怎健旺，還是讓我出去工作覓生活吧！」露露可放心不下讓惠蓮出去工作。
　　「我從小就幹慣了活兒，相信我出去工作是熬得下來。我可不忍，讓你這樣年青青的去拋頭露面呀！萬一你在外頭吃了虧，這教我怎安得下心呢？再說健民、健蘭還小總得有人來照顧呀！你說是不是？」惠蓮講得頭頭是道。
　　「不管怎樣說，還是讓我出去工作。」露露仍耍性子堅持己見。
　　「甭孩子氣啦！聽我的話準不會錯，明兒我就去跟江嫂談談，她準會替我找到份工作。」惠蓮拍撫著露露臂膀像哄孩子般。
　　自惠蓮出外工作，一幌已一個年頭了，全家生活總還算過得去。想不到這年進入炎夏，健民不知怎的，卻腹瀉不止了，急得惠蓮、露露團團轉，不知如何是好，家裡再也尋覓不到一滴值錢物品去典當了，就這樣硬著頭皮，不得不抱著孩子往醫院裡送。
　　為了替健民治病，全家大小，祇好勒緊褲帶省吃儉用想湊足這批醫藥費，但總是不能如願以償。幸好，林大夫窺探出了她們的尷尬：
　　「陳太太：還差多少錢？」
　　「林大夫：這怎好意思？你替孩子治病，已費了很多神，我們感激萬份了，怎還能讓你來破費？」露露連忙道謝。
　　「沒什麼？還差多少？儘管說。」
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　　「一百三十元。」還是蜜斯汪道出了錢數。
　　「蜜斯汪，這筆錢記在我的賬上。」
　　「……」蜜斯汪點頭。
　　「那太謝謝您了。」惠蓮也漾著滿臉的感激。
　　「沒什麼，沒什麼。」林大夫邊說邊進房替病患診療去了。

　　　　七
　　在一個風雨交加的晚上，剛安頓孩子就寢，露露見惠蓮坐在燈旁發楞，特意找話來打破這悶人的岑寂。
　　「蓮姐：我也想出去找份工作，來貼補家用。」
　　「你瘋啦！」惠蓮睖瞪她一眼：「看你弱不禁風的身子，怎耐得住外面的風霜？」
　　「我可找些抄抄寫寫的工作，深信我還勝任得了。」
　　「不可以，絕不可以。要我如何放心你出去工作？再說，孩子們總得有人來照顧呀！」惠蓮掠出大姐的面孔。
　　「我可把孩子帶在身邊。」
　　「誰會請妳這般分心，累贅的婦道人家來賺他的錢？我看妳還是甭做這個白日夢吧！」惠蓮停頓了會：「祇要我們儘量節省，這個家定可撐得下去。」
　　時間一天天的挨過，惠蓮終於經不起日積月疊的勞累而病倒了，她這麼一病，正好似這個家倒塌了一根支柱、棟樑，露露可急壞了，不知如何是好，出去工作，又怕遭到她的反對，眼睜睜見到蓮姐躺在病床上呻吟，也不是辦法，在情急之下，還是想到那位好心腸的林大夫，而硬著頭皮向他求援。
　　林大夫永遠是好心腸的善士，他一聽到露露提及了惠蓮的病情，立即便提著出診箱，特來替惠蓮治病。
　　惠蓮一病就是個來月，若不是林大夫好心接濟，這個家早便垮了，散了。當然，露露怎忍心讓這個家困窘下去呢？
　　「蓮姐：林大夫準備要開個診所，他有意替我安插份工作，相信蓮姐一定會同意吧！」
　　「這樣也好，你儘管去吧！林大夫那我是信得過的。」惠蓮不能動彈，當然祇好讓露露出去工作了。總不好意思繼讓林大夫接濟呀！
　　露露在林大夫診所工作挺輕鬆的，孩子們也一天天長大，健民也到了上學年紀了。孩子上學要添這添那的，露露又在愁眉苦臉。林大夫是位道地的好心人，主動提及：
　　「露露：孩子該上學了吧？」林大夫掏出一疊鈔票：「算我做叔叔給孩子一份禮物吧！」
　　「哪怎好意思？」露露在困窘中可顯露出了會心的笑靨。
　　「露露深思，林大夫對他們委實太好了，僅憑她如此輕微工作，怎可得到如
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此高的酬勞？於是露露祇有傾全力來支助林大夫經營診所，林大夫是位好好醫生，他的聲名遠颺，診所業務也蒸蒸日上，收入也就日愈多了，他來接濟露露家更輕而易舉了。
　　林大夫成天忙碌，連終身大事也耽誤了，同事們替他物色，已是無以數計，總沒有一個被他看中意的。
　　惠蓮、露露，均在替他們家的救命恩人林大夫操心。
　　「林大夫，你人品好，心地好，又有錢，是該找個家了。」惠蓮首先道出了關心恩人的話。
　　「……」林大夫無語對答。
　　「那可不是」露露也接應：「林大夫已三十八歲啦！是該覓個合適的對象。」
　　「妳看附近有沒有合適的姑娘？」惠蓮誠摯地問。
　　「胡家大妹子長得挺秀氣的，蠻討人喜愛。」露露插嘴：「林大夫，趕明兒我去替你談談看。」
　　翌日，當林大夫忙了一整天快下班時，露露見他心情滿愉快的樣兒，便鼓起了勇氣跟他搭訕：
　　「林大夫，不知你有沒有心上人了？」
　　「……」林大夫經她如此一問，驚愕得不知怎樣回話。因露露一向穩重得連話都少講的人，今日她怎會驀地提起這檔子事？
　　「到底有沒有？」露露緊逼。
　　「有呀！」可把林大夫問急了。
　　「是誰？」露露硬想打破砂鍋問到底。
　　「除了妳，還會有誰？」林大夫順水推舟，可把隱藏在心坎裡的話溜了出來調侃著她。
　　「甭開玩笑啦！」露露面頰微燙赧紅。
　　「我什麼時候跟妳開過玩笑。」林大夫聲音有些顫懍。
　　「我哪配得上？」
　　「什麼時代啦？還談什麼配與不配呀！祇要我們倆相情願就行啦！」
　　「……」露露窘得再也對不上話了，道聲「再見！」便離開了診所。

　　　　八
　　回到家，露露窘喜交迫，面對惠蓮不知該如何啟口。還是惠蓮搶先問道：
　　「林大夫哪談得怎樣？他還中意胡家大妹子吧？」
　　「不中意！」
　　「不中意？」惠蓮頗感訝異：「像大妹子那般標緻的妮子，真是打著燈籠都找不到。」
　　「唔……」露露吱唔得回不上話。
　　「他到底要找怎樣的天仙美女吶？他是我們的恩人，我們總得跟他多留意
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下，多加把勁，助他一臂之力呀！」
　　「……」露露雙眉緊蹙，而默默無語了。
　　「露妹，怎不回話？」惠蓮感覺有些不對勁兒。
　　「我也是這樣想呀！」露露有些悵然。
　　露露怎好把林大夫跟她說的一席話和盤托出來？如果被惠蓮知道她跟林大夫有愛昧關係，她準會笑露露，不夠穩重而去勾引林大夫。
　　說也奇怪，林大夫自對露露的愛戀道破後，幾乎有些神魂潦倒。當露露來到他的眼前，他會興奮得洋洋自得，而哼起流行曲子來自愉。但當露露離去，他又會失魂落魄感到無所適所。
　　如今，林大夫不能沒有她，他已侵佔了他整個心域、腦際，祇要她一下班，他總是施展慇懃，喚輛黃包車親自陪她回家，在車上，他總是用許多甜言蜜語，卿卿我我的話來挑逗他的情竇。有一天，半途下著傾盆大雨，當門簾拉下，他情不自禁地，挽抱露露在懷裡擁吻，露露失去了反抗，好似一隻被擒的羔羊，任憑他的啄食愛的禁果。自後他們倆誰也少不了誰。但露露怎敢跟惠蓮提起這檔子不名譽的事呢？
　　還是惠蓮窺破了露露的心事，想揭穿迷底：
　　「露妹：我們這個家，如果不是林大夫來幫忙，早就垮了啊！」
　　「那可不是。」
　　「他對我們付出的確是太多了，我們總不能這樣耗無酬勞讓他再破費下去了。」
　　「我們該怎麼辦？」露露想探蕙蓮口氣。
　　「再說，你年紀青青的，是該去闖遍天地，不要像我認命啦！」
　　「……」話激得露露淚水涓涓往下淌，喉頭哽咽得說不出話。
　　「我老早就想勸你改嫁，孩子由我來照管，祇要對方付出我們的生活費就行啦！」惠蓮嚥了口唾液：「我又深怕你堅持，要做什麼貞婦烈女。」
　　「改嫁？」露露淚水驚喜得如黃河泛濫了。
　　「個來月，我發現林大夫對你滿癡心，幾乎到了非你不娶的地步了。你可不要辜負他的一番真情，更不可傷了恩人的心喲！」
　　「我哪能配得上？」
　　「像你長得這般白皙紅潤、眉清目秀、端莊賢慧的女子，怎會配不上他呢？等會我去跟林大夫談談，選個黃道吉日替你們倆成親。」
　　「……」露露緘默不語，心花可怒放了。

　　　　九
　　自露露改嫁給林大夫後，她親生兒子健民，從此改口稱露露為阿姨，孩子似懂非懂的卻問出令人啼笑不得的話來：
　　「阿姨，為什麼妳不讓我叫你做娘？」
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　　「……」露露連忙用手帕握住了眼鼻，無語回話。
　　幸好林大夫在旁打圓場：
　　「以前當你小的時候，露阿姨待你好，你就喚娘，一直嚷到如今，現在露阿姨嫁給了叔叔，你就應叫大媽為娘呀！」
　　「啊！我知道了，從前我小，不懂事，錯把阿姨喚作娘。」健民天真無邪，惶然大悟。
　　露露可被他這段話，戳傷了她沈甸甸的心，淚水像大雨般往外潑，健民鬼精靈掏出手帕替她拭淚。
　　「阿姨，你為什麼哭呢？你不是曾告訴我，哭就不乖，不是大丈夫？」
　　露露愈加抽噎得嚎啕大哭出了沙啞的聲音。
　　林大夫機智的抱起健民離開了露露，也好讓她儘情地發洩、發洩下內心的鬱悶。
　　時間的激流，沖淡了露露深深的憂鬱。濃濃的情意，讓她忘懷了不幸的以往。尤其林大夫對她生活起居熱忱關懷，無微不至，使她自己也委實過意不去。
　　「華強，你甭再這樣啦！我的生活自己會料理，你應該多在醫術上下功夫、多研究，不要為我耽擱了正事。」
　　「為愛妻服務，這也是人生一樁樂事。我總不能讓你成天愁眉苦臉呀！」
　　這下可把露露逗得撲嗤笑了，於是露露在詩情畫意漫長的歡樂日子中活躍了過來，她也不辜負丈夫的厚愛，替他生下了對孿生姊妹，華強可也樂得合不攏嘴。
　　「露露，你看這對丫頭長得像誰？」
　　「我不知道。」
　　「妳仔細看看，霞霞像我。」華強笑顏逐開，沾沾自喜，指著露露：「雯雯像你。」
　　「真的呀！」露露也顯現出傾心瀝膽的快樂。
　　孩子的出生，加深了露露的忙碌。在忙碌中，已淡忘了不幸、傷心的以往，惠蓮也頗為知道失子的痛苦，她儘量少帶健民去會見露露，林大夫總是按月親自送生活費過來，這樣也就減少了惠蓮跟露露會面的機會，免得增添露露不必要的記罣。
　　惠蓮也視健民為己出，連健蘭小丫頭，也吃起醋來。
　　「媽，哥哥吃東西總是比我吃得多，衣服也做的多，你是不是祇喜歡哥，不喜歡我了。」
　　「傻丫頭，怎會呢？哥哥大，胃大、肚大，當然要分多點呀！」
　　「上街，媽總是牽著哥，要我跟在哥的後面走，難道哥大還要大人牽著走嗎？」
　　「傻丫頭！惠蓮吱唔不知如何回話是好。」
　　「媽可沒話可說了吧！」
　　「別岔嘴！再說，我可要撕爛你的小嘴。」
　　「哼！」健蘭縐縐鼻子，滿生氣：「我知道了，哥是娘親生的，我是你在垃
－ 030 －
圾桶裡撿來的。」
　　「別胡說！」惠蘭強忍住淚水，阻止健蘭說下去。
　　「媽不是常跟我說，我是你上街買菜，從垃圾桶裏撿來的嗎？」
　　「是娘跟你說著玩的，怎可認真起來呢？」
　　從今以後，惠蓮不得不改變初衷，對孩子的關愛，是應分均勻些，免得孩子有如此不好的邪念而偏激的想法。
　　自後他們一家大小母子女三人一團和氣，而相依為命。此時，戰爭也告結束，大夥都品嚐到了勝利歸故鄉訊息的甜果。在返鄉前夕，華強、露露送了一筆盤纏交給惠蓮。就在離別前晚，露露把健民抱在懷裡，淚水涓涓淌流、淌流，淌流到健民的臉上。
　　「阿姨，你為什麼要哭呢？」健民摸不清頭緒。
　　「……」露露傷感得應不出話。
　　惠蓮深怕露露會帶走健民，她委實把健民帶得比自己親生子女還要親了，她跟健民已是難能分捨的地步了；露露又何嘗願意離開親生骨肉呢？她的確是有切膚之痛，於是她把健民摟得緊緊的不放，不放！
　　「阿姨；你不要哭，好不好？如果你要哭，我可也要哭了啊！」
　　「……」露露可被健民的話挑逗得失聲嚎啕大哭起來了，淚水更像破閘大水往外溢，朝外淌了。
　　全屋子的人都哭成一團了，空氣是多麼僵然得令人窒息。還是華強忍住了淚水道：
　　「世上沒有不散的宴席，傷心是無濟於事，今兒應該趕快把要交代的話，講清楚，免得離開後又耽心這，牽罣哪的。」
　　「是呀！露妹，是該把淚水拭乾，讓我們姐妹倆，儘情地好好談一談。」惠蓮遞手帕給露露，扶攙她踱到了後院。
　　「蓮姐：在這離別的情景，母子連心的刀割、痛楚，你可能是沒法子領悟得到的。」
　　「你可放一百二十個心，孩子我會照顧得好好的。」
　　「我知道，蓮姐對孩子照顧應會比我更悉心、更體貼。但離開後，不知那年那月才能見到孩子。」露露淚珠，又像斷了線似的一串串往下滾落了。
　　「回到家鄉，我會抽空領著孩子來看你。」
　　「我們相隔路程，少說也有千巴里，見面是談何容易？」
　　「我會教孩子，時常寫信給你，妹子你可放心。」
　　惠蓮這番話，彷彿熨平了露露些許坎坷的心事。露露本想認健民為兒子，好把他帶在身旁，又畏恐會傷到孩子的自尊心。將後華強會不會對他另眼看待？再說，健民是陳家唯一的一根煙火，蓮姐能為陳家守節，還不是指望把孩子拉拔大，將後對陳家也有所交待而了卻這樁心願。如真的把健民帶走，哪不是太傷蓮姐的心了嗎？想到此，露露祇好讓自己忍痛捱熬了。
－ 031 －
　　惠蓮何嘗是不知道露露的心意。她也無法割捨健民，她帶健民這些年，的確是費盡了不少心思，她絕不能沒有他，她苦苦撐著，還不是希望把健民帶大成人，將後好去光宗耀祖，說不定族裡的人，還會替她立上一座貞節牌坊呢？所以惠蓮絕不肯鬆口，讓露露把孩子帶走。
　　勝利歸故鄉，在異鄉浪子心中是多麼嚮往而夢寐以求的。但在露露身上，卻覓不到滴點喜悅，在骨肉分離的淒情慘景中，隨著華強踏上了返鄉的歸途，從此，露露便在憂煩、納悶中度日如年，她的身子，隨著也日愈消瘦、憔悴了。華強委實不忍心再讓愛妻這樣折騰下去。
　　「露露：乾脆，我們去把孩子領回來。」
　　「領回來？」露露杏眼圓瞪，眼神中蘊藏著無限的疑慮。
　　「是呀！把健民領回來！」華強有意替露露釋慮。
　　「唉！」露露嘆了口氣：「談何容易啊！」
　　「把孩子領回來，這是天經地義的事情，哪還會是有什麼可難倒我們的大事嗎？」
　　「把健民領回來，雖然是可以舒坦我的心，但卻又將創傷好些人的心了。」
　　「此話怎講」？
　　「正如你是否真心、真意願把他接過來？……」
　　華強不等她把話說完，便舉手發誓：「如果我有一絲假意，我林……」
　　露露連忙用手堵住了華強的嘴。
　　「我相信你是真心誠意，把他接過來，孩子該姓啥？」
　　「當然姓陳。」
　　「將後長大了，他發覺妹妹姓林，他姓陳，他娘小時曾遺棄他，把他丟給大媽，大媽能為他父親守節，而娘不能，他會對我怎樣歧視？」
　　「……」華強瞠目結舌，找不出適當話語來安慰露露。
　　「再說，蓮姐一直把健民當為己出兒子，她怎離得開他，就是健民也不願離開蓮姐呀！」
　　「說的也是。」華強也有同感。
　　好些日子，露露沒有接到蓮姐和健民的音訊，她心急如焚，正當華強允諾她動身去探望他們前夕，卻接蓮姐病逝的不幸消息。露露等不及明日動身，便要求華強僱了部車子，漏夜趕去替蓮姐料理後事。
　　惠蓮由於多年勞累，再加上營養失調，而患上了肝疾。雖然晚年得到了一筆偌大的遺產，但仍然是無法治癒她的病。她在生耽心牽掛的也莫過於是兩個孩子，如今就這樣撒手而去，真也放心不下，事實病魔已奪走了她的生命，她已是無可奈何啊！
　　露露在極度悲傷中，把蓮姐安葬安貼，全族一致贊同特替她立了座貞節牌坊。
　　歸途中，健民一直嚷著：
　　「阿姨：我娘死了，我要去陪伴娘，我不要離開她老人家。」
－ 032 －
　　「傻孩子，你這麼小，誰來養活你呀！」
　　「我不管」健民牽著妹妹的手耍牛脾氣：「妹妹，我們還是回去陪娘。」
　　露露獨自偷偷摸淚，心中耿塞得說不出話來。
　　華強委實再也藏不住這段隱情：
　　「健民，不瞞你說，阿姨才是你的親娘。」
　　「不！不！絕不可能，你又在騙我。」健民再也無法相信林叔叔的話了。
　　「不信，你照照鏡子看，你是不是長得挺像阿姨。」
　　華強掏出小鏡給健民照，見露露阿姨已變成了一個淚人兒，忙問道：「阿姨，你是不是我的親生娘。」
　　「……」露露連連點頭，摟抱緊健民已是泣不成聲了。
　　健民放聲大喊了聲：「娘！」
　　露露淚水愈發成串，成串地往下流，朝下淌了。
　　健蘭小丫頭也擁過來同樣大聲喊了聲：「娘！」
　　從今以後，健民、健蘭就這樣投入到了露露愛的心懷中沐浴，直至永遠、永遠……。
　　　　一九七四年七月十二日脫稿於高雄師院教授宿舍



－ 033 －

Trials and hardships
Zhang Hang
One
On snowy the twelfth month, everybody encloses and catches fire the stove talks of everything under the sun, come in winter when send this bitter cold, it is beauty's mythology that then is in charge of,
All sorts of evil-doers, really talk about everything under the sun, there is not thing that is not mentioned, talk about the realm in desperate straits, take the thing in front of the eyes to gather and fill a vacancy to block
.
' Chen LongXiang is in the town of our county, can be regarded as and richly endowed by nature, the person who has the good fortune most. '
' where can? '
' if he pan gray face like us, is it allow Hui Lian Miss, we of village to make, can take a fancy to he, she house even master
Would not is it on one's body, use up of such a size one wealth, come out by dish him to circle in the air in dragon Chen, also let him work as such a big officer nowadays. '
' say too, remember dragon Chen circle in the air he house so poor as to have breakfast, worried dinners in that year, where to have remaining money to let him go to the ocean
The school silk gauze? '
' he does not drink so much ink, can act as the county grandfather yet today? Wrapping up allows him to carry on one's shoulder or back and hoe, pick up the cow dung just the same as we! '
' go you, see his kind in delicate health, can carry on one's shoulder or back the hoe? Maybe he already succeeds the tight leather monkey hungrily, but beating drum don't
Have prepared against and applauded hammers. '
' Ha Ha Ha ' amuse everybody convulsed with laughter.
' say really, Lian Hui marry him this for many years, how even egg have the next one? '
' this! It is the retribution! Like he has worked as a county magistrate, the moral character standing high above the masses and acting like a tyrant, the ones that indulge in dissipation are connected with oneself the whole day surnamed
－ 034 －
Everything has been forgotten, certainly catch great sore of red bayberries of having one's body covered with, how to still sow and draw seeds? '
' genuiness is the retribution. '
' these right away worries very favouring the lotus girl, pray to gods for blessing to the temple today, will reach to the Buddhist nunnery to divine tomorrow, really so anxious that if the hot pan was had
The ant, hopes to give birth to a man and half a son for him, it is so stingy to just send the sub empress off, it seems that the intentions should be paranoid about her, get
Need her have face come husband correctly, can help what good idea he produce, is it admonish husband this to come, want to come those
Have done good works and accumulated virtue. '
' remember county grandfather last year, is it get provincial capital contact with public affair for leave ridiculous, take one to dress up the evil spirit openly this time to make use of often
Like come back, say what it is want make not light coming with him prostitute. '
' Hui Lian Miss object to? '
' woolen cloth that where to have not to object to? '
' used but what opposition has, only the one's own strange stomach is disappointing, otherwise still make her rush into the door? '
' see she stomach drum, must for goods. '
' that can not be false. '
' how know so fast? Do not blow the balloon. '
' county grandfather still, is it pay to have illicit relations with with her for a long time. '
' Lian girl of pitiful Hui, will become an amah all one's life in the family with them calmly. '
' favour later half of lifetime such as lotus, enough she so difficult as to delay really. '
' well! A family hard, let lowpriced woman by now, make the chaotic state in which corrupt practices prevail. '
' clan elder, you should go for the lotus girl of the favor, this justice of striving to go back. '
' correctly! Should drive evil spirit that out, is it lead here atmosphere broken to so as to not make! '
' this group of things are grandfather's matter in home in the county! ' the clan elder has paid attention to the lower beard: ' even an upright official finds it hard to settle a family quarrel as the saying goes. '
' well! Lian Hui Miss must be so bitter as to delay all one's life. ' villager is it appear
－ 035 －
take pity on sigh to unbosome one after another.

Two
The dislocated upwarping day by day of belly that the evil spirit reveals money, that pressing upsurge thereupon too of bluster of hers; The county grandfather is on the face smilingly too
Have strengthened many wrinkles. Favouring lotuses and is derided yellowly by them day by day, oppressive on day her mood is, one pair of eyebrows is knit closely, everything
It is so fatherless bitterness to impute to one's own destiny.
It is annual on day that the favor lotus is spent holding the hot tears; Insulting people in imposing manner revealed but exercises magic powers, the ones that are watching to her and looking for and favouring the lotus again are gone by chance:
' lotus sister of the favor, look at the such cold water in the end of yours to wash the face for me, freeze me to death? '
' how can? ' the favor lotus has stared at the dew: ' this warm water obviously, unlikely ice broken you have! '
' well! Do you want to freeze me to death obviously? What advantages will you have to freeze me to death? Have left the root trousers belt and hung oneself for you at most. '
Chen LongXiang hits the central room to enter the bedroom: '! Are you two bickering again? '
' oh! ' reveal and draw high the voice, covering with the surface and crying and claiming: ' thorn in one's side of the Chen s, thorn in one's flesh that I am you, I mustn't live
! OK! You make me disgusting, I will show you at once. '
' reveal, don't waste oneself like this. ' the dragon circles in the air and hugs and reveals and tries to persuade stating: ' work up the nausea, vomiting and edema of legs during pregnancy, does not play making a noise. '
' is it play with to make a noise? How many leisurely and carefree moods it will be I, talk nonsense Luo with you? The others' waist is so sour as to thwart me very much fast! ' reveal
Two bunches of teardrops, roll and fall outside as taking off the line.
Whether dragon Chen at this moment circle in the air feeling to be worried, indiscriminately, criticize and favour lotuses too. ' you know that already there is pregnancy to reveal,
You should right away a bit lead if you make the elder sisters' everything. '
－ 036 －
The full stomach of favor lotus one is hurt and wronged, bear tears, does not dare to utter a sound.
It is insatiable to reveal, the ones that shout abuses in the street like old woman Huang speak unceasingly: ' she has never given birth to a child and half a woman with you, how to know a lying-in woman
Hard and bitter and hot! I think she to is it cherish hatred I to envy, is it paranoid about me to intend, is it is it shed to torment my foetus to think, it is sweet that she is knowing
. Oh! The child has not been given birth to yet, she waits for me like this, how can I after growing live on? Oh ' reveal pairs of frank since fist
The own belly is thumped.
Long Xiang is busy with holding revealing both hands: ' this of yours is uncalled-for? There are any grievances, you can not hesitate to talk, I will give your one satisfactorily
Answer. '
' have what discuss, it is she that die today, I die, otherwise, I perish together with the child. '
' don't say definitive words like this! I depend on you all now, you say! '
The favor lotus is so angry as to gnash one's teeth, the face takes place blue and green, tremble directly.
' you look, she wants to eat people's kind! Whether ' reveal person who make, layback head frank to collide at the wall. ' oh! I shouldn't live
! '
So anxious that dragon circle in the air both hands is it embrace in one's arms to ask revealing.
The favor lotus sees this, but the running in the garden later on of a burst of energy, the one without the least hesitation jumped into and committed suicide the lotus flower pool.
The dragon circles in the air and has a premonition, the case that a case involving human life is to be treated with the utmost care, at it is getting falling to more he for head,then he one heart horizontal, put down not putting not revealing in
At the bed, hot on the trail of behind favouring lotuses, the ones that disregarded own safety made a leap forward in the lotus flower pool, have rescued the favor lotus.
Favour lotus drink much mud water already, people drown on the point of dying to send to the hospital already. The dragon circles in the air at this moment, have to propose, let too
Hui Lian, revealing to live separately, room two, the quarrel scene not integrating of
－ 037 －
two things diametrically opposed to each other in order to remove size temporarily.

Three
The quiet long time at long last, the ones that revealed too and tried to make a good showing very much had grown a fair and fat son for him, congratulate the guests to crowd
Watertight, door whip explode park set off, big gun dreg has piled up like a mountain already. Coke, grandfather of county, must is it split mouth, narrow urgent to smile
Eyes,fish tail line too it stick at canthus firmly side of. Reveal at this moment very more cocky, it is not Nanny Zhang that pounds one's back for her, is it sister-in-law Li that follows
She pinch waist, ginseng lotus seeds soup for a moment, one to hand over suitable for reading all kinds of delicacies sometimes, she can become the greatest big person who has rendered outstanding service of the Chen s.
Only she opens one's mouth nowadays, say what is wanted, my father will definitely be docile, reveal the body seeing the tendency hands hold the county grandfather tightly to spread
Delicate way:
' Long Xiang, I have given birth to the son for you, whether should thank me carefully? '
' it's time, should thank again. ' the heart is happy to get outside that Long Xiang makes.
' are calculated and thanked according to this sentence of yours! ' reveal the bright and sharp expression in one's eyes and watch the husband intently.
' must thank again, thank again. '
' how to thank it? '
' you tell me only I can do, wrap up and shut your compliment accurately. '
' that you speak personally Luo! Elders, villagers, must ask you to be the eye-witness today! '
' certainly, certainly, reveal, you do not hesitate to talk! ' Chen LongXiang patted the chest to promise what he said can never be yellow in front of everybody
Ox.
' I make out the condition, does not stretch the tongue. '
' how does county grandfather say? Wrapping up accurately give a discount, I can assure for you. ' the old octogenarian Die's clan elder speaks and leaks out, strikes
Burn chest guarantee.
' will educate thinking about in the future for the child, will hope you will be set aside
－ 038 －
to and strong in paddy field of 6.667 hectares of names of the people, this house lived in with us, return
Leave him ten strips. '
' Ha Ha Ha! I still thought what condition at the worst it was, strong in the son that the people were me, all my property was his,
I will promise even if a bit more! ' dragon Chen circle in the air full and to one's heart's content bright to laugh at.
' please open a business the written pledge now, give property right to child, might as well make old man sign a name witness at paper villager
! ' the dew end produces the writing brush, ink stick, ink slab and paper.
' fine! Obey the command in everything! Revealing really has set of you. Whether ' dragon Chen circle in the air consider at all write written pledge proper dish. ' invite township
Kiss and leave your name on the paper! So as not to reveal worriedly. '
Being very enjoyable, everybody in the good name of good sign of paper, praise one after another: ' the county grandfather is very amazing, you really have a good fortune!
' the county grandfather is very luxurious, there is so much property. '
Have revealed coke: ' from today, real estate these belong to treasure son, sweetheart of I. '
' certainly, certainly, is your son my son too? Heartily ' dragon circle in the air coke become first Maitreya Buddha.
' the property, no one can move a son of his, the baby will be before managing money matters, depositted by his uncle for the moment. ' quite reveal
The spirit speaks the words front.
' are keep gently and refinedly? ' the old dragon feels surprised immediately to circle in the air.
'? Distrust! ' reveal the apricot eyes round to stare at.
' how could distrust? ' Long Xiang have to act the tough man in front of the public.
' fellow countrymen can catch and breathe out! ' reveal and afraid deeply the dragon will go back on one's word to circle in the air.
' gentleman has already published one speech, the team of four horses is difficult to chase, how can regard the real thing as a trifling matter? ' the clan elder has combed the beard several times.
' clan elders are all such trust, what do I have to speak? Little woman take the place of a thousand baby thank ten thousand thank you and elders, of Xiang, Long only
Villager. ' is it open one's mouth bar afford to buckle to reveal.
－ 039 －
Four
Reveal after giving birth to a treasure son for the county grandfather, can drag for to a sum of property of such a size; Review and endure from suffering China and Congo with him
Knot holding up one's head is sent to the wife - But favor lotus has been abandoned and sent and come home. One pair favor lotus is kindhearted and merciful, never envy and blame others, only strange
It is bitter to born order by oneself, practise abstinence from meat and pray to Buddha and repair in next life at home in sincere purpose that sincerely. As she learn is it is it is it have firework to connect for dragon, very high she have to circle in the air already to reveal
Can cry, busy with reading ' there is not the south Amitabha, sound Bodhisattva of large kind big pessimistic generation ' come to bless their whole family's prosperity to be safe and comfortable.
Since revealing and giving birth to the baby, Long Xiang has not been dizzied the head and forgotten former affection by good news, then there are noload positions, he always kisses
Go to the countryside to the spouse favor lotus to chat cheerfully exquisite feelings by oneself. The favor lotus is seen the husband shows loving care for and shows solicitude for so, without a bit estrangement, she has already had satisfied heart
The foot is shut the palm to express gratitude to Bodhisattva for can review family happiness to blessing, in a twinkling, she is so excited that the tear is dropped and said trickling sluggishlily in the heart gloomy:
' Long Xiang: I marry you half a lifetime soon, give birth to one man and half women with you, feel ashamed in the face of you the forefather very much really. '
' favor lotus, places where I treat you unfairly are too much too really, if only you can forgive my difficulties. '
' all these piece blame me to be life bitter, the stomach is disappointing, otherwise you will not put down and reveal into the door either. '
' say too, if not like that, I will not be in arrears of the emotional debt that you have one's body covered with either! Since marrying into revealing, one of my conscience
Condemned the unable peacefulness becoming quiet straight. '
' well! This strange life! '
Unbosome and tell thinly, two people walked back and forth in mind Buddha has unloaded a heavy burden through some in this way, two old holes can get much consolation,
Crash into first love of getting back to feeling at among the dream, then they emotion
－ 040 －
distil arrive boiling point fast immediately.
He is close with favouring lotuses the longer, finds further she the more advantage has, it is perfect to be can be regarded as, she takes shape with revealing strongly
The contrast, she has not required anything, she only in charge of one's own woman one to the limit to show consideration for the husband, help gentlemens, facilitate his career sum
The hope, then is in charge of sacrificing oneself, so long as can only do good, not harm to the husband, he will incline and safeguard with all strength.
The dragon circles in the air and realizes deeply, he is a lot favor lotus. Then is in charge of revealing and fighting for the affections of a man or woman, making trouble wilfully, it force it drift apart he it is kind enough to lotus,even
Want them to break away from the conjugal relation, but Long Xiang has taken and advocated definitely at long last in this respect, never docile and obedient her shrew's strength. Whenever he will come
Think and favour lotuses once, go back to always irritate the sulk a few days with revealing. It is quite consoled having the cardinal principles in mind and taking the overall situation into account and kind enough to the lotus:
' I think you are busy in the town, go to the countryside few! Don't worry about me, I will look after all these hard by oneself, will set you 100 free
20 hearts. '
' where how all right? Throw you away in the countryside, make me cross purpose and does not leave really. '
' this blames my life to be bitter! ' tear that the favor lotus wipes away the universe canthus and rolls and falls stealthily: ' reveal youngly, is needing you to look after more,
Don't make her angry again. '
' well! I have no way to pay off this share profound kindness and friendship in arrears of you really this lifetime. ' the dragon can kneel at the feet of, in a twinkling
The tear overflows like carrying the Yellow River.
The favor lotus draws and sells the handkerchief to wipe away the tears for him: ' see you or the child put down persons to take pity on just like that. '
' remember period of going to school, you encourage me to be enterprising, there is no your encouragement, where will I have today's achievement? '
' still carry these and do any? ' the favor lotus holds his both hands tight: ' go back to the city quickly! Quite a lot of public affair wait for you to do there!
In the homeward journey, the dragon circles in the air orphan's decayed soul must seem to lose the domesticated dog, everything loses balance, feels dull to any thing,
－ 041 －
get back to the city
In have a rest by on the a few days,come back to in a hurry because there aren't countryside, it is last lotus not to see, he had limitless consolation to is it answer to look for it since
Own, seek to the enjoyment of family happiness.
It practises abstinence from meat and prays to Buddha, cultivates one's moral character and reposes in line with being the same in the past to favour lotuses, who does it complain about never, all docile and obedient arrangement of destiny,
Treat husband to be kind, all he sesame nail pieces of heavy thing on one's body, wrap up and will definitely attend so that he is gratified and satisfied, one like this
Is it make Xiang Long is it favour lotus amiable respected indispensable, two people emotion heal for being harmonious to fill sincerely thereupon too to feel furthermore to come.
God does not shoulder great pain people, the favor lotus was in the family way too at last. In the night giving birth to a child, in the village a friend is so happy as to lift out the empress Bodhisattva unexpectedly
To lower the god to hold a memorial ceremony for and visit. Have taken a platform of such a size at the square in front of the door, is performing the local civilization play to expedite child delivery, congratulate for favouring lotuses.
It is someone from by ask case by Xiang Long: ' do you hope the lady gives birth to an able-bodied man or a thousand pieces of gold? '
' leave it to chance. ' answer that breathes out that Long Xiang smiles.
Saying, the midwife has spread out of good news in the room: ' congratulate county on grandfather, you have already taken a person of a thousand pieces of gold. '
' the county grandfather really has a good fortune! Have women, rich and high-profile today! ' aunt Zhao combs and is flattered.
The fireworks blow loudly in the clear courtyard in a twinkling, congratulating one to congratulate sb. on a happy occasion one after another, the dragon circles in the air coke must be shut and does not comb the mouth.
So excited that the tears drop down down straight too to favour lotuses, the tear like this storm, a melancholy, unhappiness that he accumulates over a long period,
Wash so that a the universe two is net; In the thinking of her haze, have already pushed a dark blue beautiful and magnificent clear sky aside, she can hold out from then on
The chest resumes in the face of family.

Five
－ 042 －
A good time never lasts long, because the spreading of the beacon, can dilute the Chen s this happy event. The county town has already informed that pressing, Long Xiang has to tidy up
Valuable property and home take family dependent to the rear area to escape, refugee though if the ant moves on the way, the ruffian dares to lay boldly in the broad daylight
Rob, the son of the whole family is no exception that certainly circle in the air imperially, looted. Fortunately favour lotuses quick-wittedly, sew and hide in her daughter is strong in the blue diaper
Many jewelries, the well otherwise not from the township, come to this unfamiliar with the place and the people Chongqing!, really endure cold and go hungry too.
Through make a long journey on foot, Xiang Long but tired to is it in bed, favour how bear husband can not it blow to lie in bed all day lotus to fall ill, then she draws out privately
Room rate, has sent the gentleman to the hospital. Revealing certainly can't neglect a responsibility either, two people come to look after dragons to circle in the air automatically in turn. In the trials and tribulations
,They two hostile to but transfer to friendly, drift apart and stock to on intimate terms, repelled but become and help each other, they realize deeply who
Who it is too a lot, become one so-called difficult elder sister's difficult sister of friend in adversity too really.
' lotus sister: The nutrition milk of small blue need, I see you to still eat some more and send the food of the milk; Xiang Long these is it look after to come by me, you return
Come back home to take more time to rest! ' reveal and reveal the heart words.
' no! How are you so busy as to come over alone? We two attend Long Xiang in turn. '
' lotus sister. ' reveal and take down necklaces: ' you treat it as quickly, might as well buy some food to enrich the body. '
' reveal the sister, I can still prop up, so long as the dragon circles in the air the state of illness condition takes a favorable turn, but a bit more bitter, I can suffer, the gold is still
Leave him to cure the disease to use! '
' the money that he cured the disease, I can try separately. '
' the money has been finished robing for bandits, what way can you still think? '
' the lotus sister, tell you the truth, I have hidden several strips in baby's cotton-padded jacket, have not been searched out. '
' really thank heaven very much! Emperor it was not defeated by our cruel fate people
－ 043 －
at last. '
Revealing and taking out these strips, just have financial resources to cure the disease for the husband, Long Xiang's state of illness condition has already had a complexion gradually, son of the whole family, all with him
Condition the fine or not,sometimes it the worried sometimes when liking.
Favour lotuses and sincerely believe in Buddhism, people have to pray to the big person of Goddess of Mercy when powerless, helpless, even make a vow in front of Bodhisattva: '
So long as Bodhisattva blesses Long Xiang to break away from the serious illness, I wish to have the allotted portion of life reduced by having or getting more than one deserves, even gain his health by growing in this of mine, pray and rescue charitably
Rescue the difficult wish that sound Bodhisattva helps me of generation of view bitterly Amitabha . '
Revealed and once mentioned with the doctor: ' why it is at the time of the conditions of he when being the fine the bad,on earth what diseases be suffered from. '
' the typhoid fever is transfered to the dysentery. ' the doctor puts the god silently: ' because has not treated in time, has pressed the disease, wear the bottom down,
The irascibility has risen already now. '
' when leaving home, he have disease, flee from a calamity way, how can become quiet and cure the disease for him hard? '
' say too, typhoid fever to decrease body most, if has not treated in time, recuperate carefully, the state of illness condition will only worsen . '
' the doctor, is not this kind of disease urgent? ' the favor lotus is questioned