Aust Winner 澳洲长风论坛

[周昕]

听雨 (虞美人)
（宋）蒋捷词 周昕英译

少年听雨歌楼上，
红烛昏罗帐。
壮年听雨客舟中，
江阔云低，
断雁叫西风。

而今听雨僧庐下，
鬓已星星也。
悲欢离合总无情，
一任阶前点滴到天明。

Listen to the Rain
By Jiang Jie
Translated by Hsing Chou

While young, I listened to the rain in a music chamber
Red candles charmed the curtains with the silhouette of my lover
In my middle age, I listened to the rain on a travelling boat
The river was vast and the clouds were low
Wild geese uttered intermittently through the western wind blow

Now I am listening to the rain under the eaves of a temple hall
Even my grey hairs have become so rare
Sorrows and joys, departures and reunions always heartbrokenly tear
I feel no more and just let raindrops keep falling on stair front
Dripping ruthlessly till dawn

[海外逸士]

with the silhouette of my lover原文裡沒這意思。
charmed不是“使昏暗”的意思。

[周昕]

[海外逸士]

羅帳在紅燭不太明亮的光裡顯得昏暗。燭一定放在離床有一定距離的桌上。

better use "wide" instead of "vast".

[周昕]