阅读上一个主题 :: 阅读下一个主题 |
作者 |
正文 |
周昕
会员等级:3
性别:
加入时间: 2010/01/10 文章: 114 来自: 澳大利亚堪培拉 积分: 336
:
|
|
残星
北国正是春光好,
南澳天凉景色清。
繁忙世界多过客,
宁静江山少知音。
徒有华发度浮生,
仍无锦衣示乡亲。
欲腾红霞留落日,
空对青冥点残星。
Fading Stars
My homeland in the North is welcoming the beautiful spring,
Australia, my new home is getting cooler with a pleasant scene.
In busy world I met people passing by hustling and bustling,
Yet in this quiet and peaceful country bosom friends are scarce.
Already my hairs turn grey as I go through this life in a natural way,
Yet till now I still stray and have no great deeds to make people proud.
Wish I could mount rosy clouds to stop the sun from setting,
End up facing the vast sky counting stars fading.
|
|
|
返回顶端 |
|
|
howard2005
澳洲彩虹鹦版主
年龄: 16 加入时间: 2008/07/25 文章: 637
积分: 1114
:
|
|
欣赏佳作佳译。 _________________ 情必近于痴而始真,Only craziness can prove love's sincerity;
才必兼乎趣而始化。Only interest can bloom one's own ability. |
|
|
返回顶端 |
|
|
周昕
会员等级:3
性别:
加入时间: 2010/01/10 文章: 114 来自: 澳大利亚堪培拉 积分: 336
:
|
|
谢谢版主来赏。
顺祝虎年愉快,阖家欢乐,身体健康,心想事成! |
|
|
返回顶端 |
|
|
短平快
会员等级:1
性别:
加入时间: 2010/04/04 文章: 8
积分: 15
:
|
|
返回顶端 |
|
|
周昕
会员等级:3
性别:
加入时间: 2010/01/10 文章: 114 来自: 澳大利亚堪培拉 积分: 336
:
|
|
返回顶端 |
|
|
howard2005
澳洲彩虹鹦版主
年龄: 16 加入时间: 2008/07/25 文章: 637
积分: 1114
:
|
|
北国正是春光好,
南澳天凉景色清。
繁忙世界多过客,
宁静江山少知音。
When China in the north enjoys spring so bright,
Australia in the south gets cool with scenery fair.
In busy world many people go in and out of sight,
Yet in this serene country bosom friends are rare. _________________ 情必近于痴而始真,Only craziness can prove love's sincerity;
才必兼乎趣而始化。Only interest can bloom one's own ability. |
|
|
返回顶端 |
|
|
周昕
会员等级:3
性别:
加入时间: 2010/01/10 文章: 114 来自: 澳大利亚堪培拉 积分: 336
:
|
|
howard2005 写道: |
北国正是春光好,
南澳天凉景色清。
繁忙世界多过客,
宁静江山少知音。
When China in the north enjoys spring so bright,
Australia in the south gets cool with scenery fair.
In busy world many people go in and out of sight,
Yet in this serene country bosom friends are rare. |
也很好,但是客观的成分比较重。写来与我漠不相关。
我的诗上下对句都是个人的感受,比较主观的情感表白,别人也许没有和我一样的感受。 |
|
|
返回顶端 |
|
|
howard2005
澳洲彩虹鹦版主
年龄: 16 加入时间: 2008/07/25 文章: 637
积分: 1114
:
|
|
周先生批评得对,改译如下:
As my country in the north basks in spring so bright,
Australia--my new home--gets cool with scenery fair.
In busy world many people go in and out of my sight,
Yet in this serene country my bosom friends are rare. _________________ 情必近于痴而始真,Only craziness can prove love's sincerity;
才必兼乎趣而始化。Only interest can bloom one's own ability. |
|
|
返回顶端 |
|
|
周昕
会员等级:3
性别:
加入时间: 2010/01/10 文章: 114 来自: 澳大利亚堪培拉 积分: 336
:
|
|
howard2005 写道: |
周先生批评得对,改译如下:
As my country in the north basks in spring so bright,
Australia--my new home--gets cool with scenery fair.
In busy world many people go in and out of my sight,
Yet in this serene country my bosom friends are rare. |
也蛮好。多谢先生指教。 |
|
|
返回顶端 |
|
|
短平快
会员等级:1
性别:
加入时间: 2010/04/04 文章: 8
积分: 15
:
|
|
欣赏楼上二位的佳作佳译。
北国正是春光好,
南澳天凉景色清。
繁忙世界多过客,
宁静江山少知音。
My homeland in the North is welcoming the beautiful spring,
Australia, my new home is getting cooler with a pleasant scene.
In busy world I met people passing by hustling and bustling,
Yet in this quiet and peaceful country bosom friends are scarce.
周先生的版本第一和第三行算押韵,第二和第四行可算押头韵,但似乎不常见。我冒昧替先生改二词,还望先生海涵。
My homeland in the North is welcoming the beautiful spring,
Australia, my new home is getting cooler with a pleasant view.
In busy world I met people passing by hustling and bustling,
Yet in this quiet and peaceful country bosom friends are few.
上一次由短平快于2010-4-10 周六, 下午3:23修改,总共修改了1次 |
|
|
返回顶端 |
|
|
howard2005
澳洲彩虹鹦版主
年龄: 16 加入时间: 2008/07/25 文章: 637
积分: 1114
:
|
|
用view与few押韵,蛮好。 _________________ 情必近于痴而始真,Only craziness can prove love's sincerity;
才必兼乎趣而始化。Only interest can bloom one's own ability. |
|
|
返回顶端 |
|
|
周昕
会员等级:3
性别:
加入时间: 2010/01/10 文章: 114 来自: 澳大利亚堪培拉 积分: 336
:
|
|
短平快 写道: |
My homeland in the North is welcoming the beautiful spring,
Australia, my new home is getting cooler with a pleasant view.
In busy world I met people passing by hustling and bustling,
Yet in this quiet and peaceful country bosom friends are few. |
改得挺好,谢谢。 |
|
|
返回顶端 |
|
|
|