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白水
会员等级:4
加入时间: 2005/10/05 文章: 334 来自: TORONTO 积分: 1411
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The last quarter moon is like a reaphook
sickles the stars.
that were once my dream,
it scattered in the sky.
The poetry
that were once my spirit
but today, just for a piece of bread,
I have to quit.
I cannot hold the glitter,
it breaks in the water.
The moon
incised silent lake
who knows about that bluish pain? |
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雪泥
会员等级:6
性别: 
加入时间: 2005/11/22 文章: 1422 来自: 西欧 积分: 8678
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怎么读着有点别扭?意向运用倒很不错 _________________ 雪泥作品http://vip.book.sina.com.cn/book/index_73301.html |
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白水
会员等级:4
加入时间: 2005/10/05 文章: 334 来自: TORONTO 积分: 1411
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那就请你帮着改改  |
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雪泥
会员等级:6
性别: 
加入时间: 2005/11/22 文章: 1422 来自: 西欧 积分: 8678
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主要是时态的运用有点混淆 _________________ 雪泥作品http://vip.book.sina.com.cn/book/index_73301.html |
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