Aust Winner 澳洲长风论坛

[雪泥]

Crying for you,my sweetie

There is one sort of tears，
Dropping one by one from the heaven
As bloody bitter fruit juice
Drives prohibited soul to taste the complete sadness
Life is already under the gloomy grave

God
Why threw me into the misted shadow of 300years
to breed this little creature ?
Why did the ancestry bestow me endless panic
and shivers every night ?
Mother’s warmth couldn’t resist devils’ intrusions
You were coming,my sweetie
Screaming , thrilling, kicking mother’s belly
I held you under my nighty ,sheding first tears
with blood

I dont believe the previous life， samsara
I don’t believe the time flows backwards
If that is true——
You are standing my suffering of childhood
God
How do you want me to confess ?
What can I do
to comfort his frightened soul?

2
Your midnight scream is a sharp knife
cutting my heart
Your flurried escape in dark guides me to the woods
to knock my forhead against stones
I drink my own blood through vast muddy fields

“Pity me, my Lord,I ‘m only a weak woman
You never lend me wings ,
You haven’t shown me the light”

I can ‘t hide behind the locked door
Leave you alone crying ,
fighting with unknown devil
Forgive me,your coward Mum
Washing your face with her tears
Incapable to release the curse over your head


3
If Love can find your lost soul
I will carry Jesus’ cross ,walking on his last path
If Love can bring you sweet dreams
I will go to touch every nook and corner in Rome

It’ s going to be peaceful
under maternal sunlight
and verdant trees

[雪泥]

以后贴出

[海外逸士]

under the gloomy grave

Where is under the grave? Should be deep in earth right under a grave. generally we say "in the grave".

[雪泥]

还是保留意见，通常来说的确如此。如果你读过Merwin的诗，你更要说他太多的语法错误，荒唐不可理喻的用法。这是译诗，我已让我的欧美朋友把过关，暂且不再修改。
以后的新作还请多提意见。真诚的，也希望看到你的更多写作。

[海外逸士]

能否請貼原作﹖詩有自己的語法規律﹐但許多英美人士只憑語感﹐不懂他們自己語言的語法﹐遑論詩的語法。中國人有幾個懂中文語法﹖一樣道理。